用牛解釋Business

PTT上就可版貼的文章

據說是從美國某海報抄來的

還滿好笑的,英文不會很難

而且似乎很符合APH的梗

有興趣可以查字典

括號裡是我的注解

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SOCIALISM 社會主義

You have two cows. You give one 

to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM 共產主義

You have two cows. The State takes both 

and gives you some milk.

FASCISM 法西斯主義

You have two cows. The State takes both 

then sells you some milk.

NAZISM 納粹主義

You have two cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM 官僚主義

You have two cows. The State takes both,

shoots one, milks the other,

and then throws the milk away.

(That is, wasted and inefficiency)

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM 資本主義

You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.

(賣掉一頭母牛,買進一頭公牛然後繁殖)

SURREALISM 超現實主義

You have two giraffes. The government 

(長頸鹿)

requires you to take harmonica lessons.

(口琴)

(abstract isn't it?)

AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You sell one, and force the other

to produce the milk of four cows.

Later, you hire a consultant 

to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads,

(罷工) (組織暴動)

because you want three cows.

(看來法國給人家的印象已經是暴民了)

JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows. You redesign them 

so they are one-tenth of the size of

an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. 

You then create a clever cow cartoon image 

(巧妙的牛卡通公仔)

called "Cowkimon" and market it worldwide.

(牛奇萌 XD)

(非常符合菊君,連家裡蹲的頃向都描寫出來了XD)

GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You re-engineer them

so they live for 100 years,

eat once a month, and milk themselves.

(德國的機械技術)

ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don't know 

where they are.

You decide to have lunch.

(非常符合義呆利)

RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. 

You count them and learn you have five cows.

You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. 

You count them again and learn you have two cows.

You stop counting cows and open another 

bottle of Vodka.

(vodka!!!)

SWISS CORPORATION 

You have 50,000 cows. None of them belong to you.

You charge the owners for storing them.

IRAQI CORPORATION

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. 

You tell them you have none.

No one believes you, so they bomb the crap 

out of you and invade your country.

You still have no cows, 

but at least now you are part of a Democracy...

(真可憐)

AUSTRALIA CORPORATION

You have two cows. Business seems pretty good.

You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION 

You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows. Both are mad.

(mad cow disease 狂牛病)

INDIAN CORPORATION 

You have two cows. Your worship them.

(膜拜)

CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.

You claim that you have full employment 

and high bovine productivity.

(意指很高的牛奶產出) 

You arrest the newsman 

who reported the real situation.